May 4, 2015
12:06 am-12:34am
Lord, if this is the way for you to discipline me I will take the beating.
No matter how heavy the yoke, no matter how surpassing the burden
I will ready the jars for my tears.
My cloak is ripped and dust is poured upon mine head.
I haven’t fed on any bread or took a sip of water for days
For I am waiting upon you to fill me…
The door of my room is shut for days and weeks
The sun has lost its glimpse of light upon my skin
My heart is pulled out and my vessels are torn
My mind shrunk into naught…
I have no strength to arise or even rest
For my brokenness exceeds the heavens!
My eye is plucked out and my tongue sticks to my palate
My bones have dwindled into tiny sticks
My soul is dry and my help is gone
I have become my strongest unbecoming!
My bed wallows in sorrow for my faults have reached to the sky
Darkness and grief bewail within me loudly and echoe to my ears
I am an ugly monster at the sight of my friends!
They sneer at my face and insects crawl upon my countenance
I have become a curse and wrath and locust have consumed my substance
However Lord… I know you are watching
You have known the depths of my thoughts and want.
You have searched me to the deepest ocean
You know each wall and room in my heart
You have flown me to the third heavens in my grief and set my mind to eternity
You have marveled at my life in faults and defeat and pulled me out of the pit.
You stood in courtrooms and battlefield to defend me
You have prepared a banquet for my homecoming!
And clothe my bareness like a rich meadow of orchids and roses.
You have made known your love in my weakness and manifested your promise in each sun’s rising
The earth shall witness your great light within me!
You have heard the depths of my cry and I know you will come
Rescue me Lord for I have fallen hard and the gates of hell surrounds me
Make known oh Lord your promise!
By your great love, death, and resurrection
I know that by tomorrow I will arise in hope- triumphant with joy!
Inspirational Verse: Isaiah 53: 1-12 “The Glory of the Suffering Servant”
Insight on Godly Repentance and Submission:
God knows our hearts and thoughts. Outwardly people may judge us by our words, actions, and deeds. But only God knows us. Each strength, weakness, and yearning is not hidden from Him. It is difficult to express sin, repentance or sorrow, sometimes we fight to keep it for fear of losing acceptance. Each of us wears a mask to camouflage our fear of rejection of revealing our true selves to others. We would rather fake kindness, goodness, and looks to win others. However, God knows our faults, weaknesses, and sins. There will come a season where He will prune, break, mold, cast us into fire, and discipline us. To be a follower of Christ we have to take our cross and be pruned. So that we won’t shine for our want, desire, plan, success, or ourselves. Only in weakness, sorrow, and barrenness can one truly seek God with a broken open heart. Only through death in the flesh and life in the spirit can God reign in truth!